Somewhere between Unacceptable and Acceptable

It's been a long time since I updated this blog, and sorry that I have to update it with sucky stuff.

My practicuum had been going ok.... till this week. This previous week, the following happened:

1) I had 3 observations...... Which all tanked. As in, nearly failed. In one, the activity was pretty ok, but my classroom mgt was poor and I couldn't control the class. My CT also thinks that some of the children didn't get it. In another, my CT says I taught some of the content wrongly, (!!!) and it wasn't learner-centric enough, too much chalk-talk.

In the final 3rd one, half the class was looking obviously bored and the other was just going through the motion with me. I knew I had lost them all by that point of time. And in the process, my grade for this observation.

2) One of the parents of my kids complained about me, that I wasn't monitoring his progress in my class, that he still didn't understand the chapter that I had taught, and that I wasn't marking his work!

That complaint actually baffled me quite a bit at first, because I had always kept the workbooks in school, and also marked every single page that I went through with the class. I had also marked every worksheet that had been given to them, and both worksheets and workbooks had always been kept in school, so where did the parent even see the work in the first place....?

As for the monitoring of progress, and lack of understanding, I'm also baffled about that. Because this kid had done most of the work set out correctly, aside from a few mistakes, so why did he say his kid didn't understand the chapter at all? Unless the kid had been copying his work all along without me knowing? Does that still make it my fault?

I'm not sure how to handle this one...... whether to face the parent with my CT during the parent-teacher meeting or not......

3) All the other trainees have finished their practicuums. Except for me. Next week I have no more company. :( :( :(

All in all, this made it a pretty low week for me all around. Suddenly my ability to teach a proper lesson and heck, even catch the kids' attention has been called into question and found lacking. Severely. I'm not sure whether this is just a bad phrase I'm going through or whether I'm truly in the wrong line. I tried to tell myself all the way that this was just a learning curve thing, that it would get better with practice, that I couldn't convince myself that I was a total loser, but...

Well, after hanging out a while over the Friday holiday, I feel slightly better, and even started thinking about what to do for the next ob rather than just wallowing in self-pity and misery 100%. I mean, I still feel pretty sucky, but at least I feel like doing something about it now, rather than just wallow.

Tip for others: Always have something non-teaching related outside of work to go to. It clears the mind lots.