Sunday, April 23, 2006

Perking Up

So the 'down' period is over, n things are finally beginning to look up, thank God.

After a couple more observations, my assessment finally started to reach the 'acceptable' levels. *Phew!* So maybe I won't have to repeat my practicuum just yet. :p

Today's observation was havoc to prepare for though. I had intended to sleep well last nite and wake up early in the morning to finish up the preparations.

Early my foot. I woke up at the ungodly hour of 215am.

I don't even know why. Maybe it was my subconscious brain waking me up to frantically prepare for the lesson, because that was the first thing on my mind when I did wake up. So I decided to just start preparing my materials.

Wah lau. I cut and folded papers till I nearly died. And I still wasn't feeling sleepy.

I went back to bed, tossed and turned, and then woke up later at 6 to finish my lesson plan.

Which nearly made me totally late for school. I ran into the gates with all my barang, praying that assembly hadn't started yet, plonked myself into the staff room computer, glanced at the clock

And realised I was 10 mins early. My watch was 10 mins fast. *faint*

Anyway I managed to print out the LP for my CT and though the lesson could have been better, I saw she had given me all 'acceptables'. So I'm not complaining. :)

So now here I stand: I have 2 more weeks of practicuum left. The other trainees in the school have already left, leaving me all alone here. :( Although my teaching is still not quite 'proficient' enough, at least it's picking up and I'm starting to get into the swing of things. [starting with marking the pile of homework returned to me over the weekend and chasing those who did not hand in homework]

My classroom management is better with the younger class, maybe because they are smaller and easier to intimidate.

I have 2 more CT observations and 1 more sup observation.

I have finished my marking for the day and am listening to music while I blog while I wait for my next class.

Hey, maybe I'll make it after all.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Somewhere between Unacceptable and Acceptable

It's been a long time since I updated this blog, and sorry that I have to update it with sucky stuff.

My practicuum had been going ok.... till this week. This previous week, the following happened:

1) I had 3 observations...... Which all tanked. As in, nearly failed. In one, the activity was pretty ok, but my classroom mgt was poor and I couldn't control the class. My CT also thinks that some of the children didn't get it. In another, my CT says I taught some of the content wrongly, (!!!) and it wasn't learner-centric enough, too much chalk-talk.

In the final 3rd one, half the class was looking obviously bored and the other was just going through the motion with me. I knew I had lost them all by that point of time. And in the process, my grade for this observation.

2) One of the parents of my kids complained about me, that I wasn't monitoring his progress in my class, that he still didn't understand the chapter that I had taught, and that I wasn't marking his work!

That complaint actually baffled me quite a bit at first, because I had always kept the workbooks in school, and also marked every single page that I went through with the class. I had also marked every worksheet that had been given to them, and both worksheets and workbooks had always been kept in school, so where did the parent even see the work in the first place....?

As for the monitoring of progress, and lack of understanding, I'm also baffled about that. Because this kid had done most of the work set out correctly, aside from a few mistakes, so why did he say his kid didn't understand the chapter at all? Unless the kid had been copying his work all along without me knowing? Does that still make it my fault?

I'm not sure how to handle this one...... whether to face the parent with my CT during the parent-teacher meeting or not......

3) All the other trainees have finished their practicuums. Except for me. Next week I have no more company. :( :( :(

All in all, this made it a pretty low week for me all around. Suddenly my ability to teach a proper lesson and heck, even catch the kids' attention has been called into question and found lacking. Severely. I'm not sure whether this is just a bad phrase I'm going through or whether I'm truly in the wrong line. I tried to tell myself all the way that this was just a learning curve thing, that it would get better with practice, that I couldn't convince myself that I was a total loser, but...

Well, after hanging out a while over the Friday holiday, I feel slightly better, and even started thinking about what to do for the next ob rather than just wallowing in self-pity and misery 100%. I mean, I still feel pretty sucky, but at least I feel like doing something about it now, rather than just wallow.

Tip for others: Always have something non-teaching related outside of work to go to. It clears the mind lots.