Not a student, Not yet a Teacher

"This is the last class for the module, so that means your holidays are starting already?"

*A happy sound from the class*

"Well, enjoy it while you can, this will be the last real holidays you ever enjoy in your life."

*DESPAIR GRIEF LAMENTATIONS*

That was a really nice way for my tutor to wrap up the module huh? *grumble* And he's one of the nicer and better ones in the PGDE program too...

[aside: I heard on the grapevine that some girls are so enthralled with him that they actually went to find out his age, marital status... probably his vital stats as well, for all I know]

but in a grudging kind of way, the guy's actually right. When I think about it, this Nov/Dec hols will probably be the last kind of school holidays we will enjoy as students. Not as teachers, planning holiday programmes, classes and god knows what else more.

I DONWAN!!! WAHHHHH!!!!! I'm not sick of being a student yet! Honest! Lemme stick to my studies, student ID and bad canteen food! I'm not ready for responsibility yet!

Man, times like this, I feel like I should give myself 2 tight slaps on the face and shout, "SNAPOUTOFIT!!!" I seem to be stuck in that transitional stage where I'm enjoying the amenities that come with being a student, and yet, I'm not actually a student, I'm a "trained employee of MOE with all the responsibilities and obligations that go with it". [that one particular line has been thrown at us in these few months god knows how many times already]

Not a student, not yet a teacher.

But the feeling kinda sucks in a way. It's like someone pulled you out of your comfy seat in front of the TV, threw you the vacuum, and said, "It's time you did some real work for a change!" only the effect is multiplied by a gazillion.

The effect this has on me is akin to a pendulum. On one swing, when I'm particularly optimistic during classes, I see the lesson plan I write out, and I think, gee, maybe I can pull this off after all.... On a bad day, I'll thik, wtf am I doing here?!! I'm not going to make it! ARGH!!! SOMEONE GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!

Trust me, I'm not turning schizophrenic.

On the [slightly] brighter side, though, most of the assignments have been handed in, done, even while the rest of NTU/NIE is still having exams. Gives me a little gloaty feeling, when I see all the anxiously mugging faces stuck in piles of books and I'm thinking of my next blog entry and how long my afternoon nap should be.

Yea, yea, I know... karma....... :p

But I really should start preparing myself... To say goodbye to being a student and start being responsible for students myself... *sigh* Wish me luck......